I am not a great writer, although I wish I were. So, please don’t assume that just because I have essays posted on the internet it means I believe I am God’s gift to essayists and I think you guys should all bask in my graphomaniacal glory.

It simply means that I like to write, and I think some of what I write others might like to read. If I make myself laugh I figure maybe someone else will laugh, too. If I think I am right in an opinion – and, trust me, I always think that – I reckon I can convince others that I am right as well, or at the very least, piss off those who disagree with me. Either way, I win.

This won’t be the most active page on the web, but it’ll be updated fairly often – say, every few weeks – so check back once in a while and see what’s new. Hopefully you’ll enjoy reading my mind.

By the way, you'll flatter me if you like something I wrote so much that you'd like to swipe it and say you wrote it yourself...but, you'll also make me mad if I catch you actually doing this. Plus, you'll be a theif and a plagiarist, which sucks, so don't do it. This stuff is copyrighted. Thanks.

• Rocked me like a hurricane.
• The Emmys have bling bling, and that's not good. Not good at all.
• Sick in the head
• My Magnet Told Me To Write This
• Attention future Olympians!
• Quitters Never Win
• Whodunit? The cat, that's who.
• It's a Cobra. It's a snake. It's a Cobra Snake!